Testimonials

Every quote on this page is a joke we wrote. These aren't real customers, and the numbers are made up. We'd rather tell you that than pretend.

"I thought I loved her. Then I saw her CPN of $327. Later." — Chad, 26, Chief Nut Officer (fictional)

"Found out my ex was a $342-per-nut cash pit. Her friend? $69. CPN has spoken." — Trevor, 32, Return On Investment Specialist (fictional)

"I used to get emotionally attached. Now I get CPN-attached." — Marcus, 31, Nut Economist (fictional)

"Finally a tool for the boys." — Every group chat, probably (also fictional)

Yours. Log a few dates and CPN shows you what each girl actually costs you, per nut, per hour and in total. No made-up case studies, just your own data.

Try it free for 3 days. If the number isn't useful, cancel before the trial ends and you pay $0.